Like Chasing Wind

Ecclesiastes 1:2-11 (New Living Translation)

Everything Is Meaningless

² “Everything is meaningless,” says the Teacher, “completely meaningless!”

³ What do people get for all their hard work under the sun? ⁴ Generations come and generations go, but the earth never changes. ⁵ The sun rises and the sun sets, then hurries around to rise again. ⁶ The wind blows south, and then turns north. Around and around it goes, blowing in circles. ⁷ Rivers run into the sea, but the sea is never full. Then the water returns again to the rivers and flows out again to the sea. ⁸ Everything is wearisome beyond description. No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied. No matter how much we hear, we are not content.

⁹ History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. ¹⁰ Sometimes people say, “Here is something new!” But actually it is old; nothing is ever truly new. ¹¹ We don’t remember what happened in the past, and in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now.

I can choose to lament on how terrible life has been for the past few weeks or I can choose to praise God for things He has allowed to happen to strengthen my walk. I chose the latter. So there is a void on what’s been happening to me lately.

Most certainly, as always, He has proven Himself faithful. During the darkest moments when He was silent, no doubt it left me wondering if He still cares that I’m hurting so much. But men of old has reminded us to bite the bullet during those period for His purpose will reveal in due time. True enough, I’m starting to catch a glimpse of  His revelation.

It’s been quite a journey for 2009. Transitions after transitions. I’m growing weary of it. When will I find my pit stop? Or perhaps a safe harbour? Lord, more of Your Grace in me, please.

PS: At this point in time, I stumbled across this article which makes me feel like I might just be caught up in it. Have a read.

Bitter Heart

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground,
Children spinning around till they fall down down down.
I wait for you: it’s been two hours now,
You’re still somewhere in town,
Your dinners getting cold.
I rest my case you are always this late,
And you know how much I hate waiting around ’round ’round,

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside,
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin’ just a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday,
So tell me whats her name.
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum.

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide,
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile,
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

***

Ce cœur fragile de mine est-il de plus en plus difficile de continuer à pomper avec nonchalance. Cette chose transition tout me fait juste si misérable. Je tiens à s’effondrer et ne se réveille pas demain. Au moins, je ne hafta passer par ces conneries. Et puis, je vais sans doute besoin d’un rappel des raisons pour lesquelles je vais même à travers que, pour commencer. La vie est un naufrage total pour l’instant.

Dieu, je plaide pour votre intervention sainte. S’il vous plaît montrez-vous fidèles comme vous avez toujours été.

S’il vous plaît priez pour moi..

Seventh Heaven

*ROFL*

The paradox of expectation indeed is that those who believe in tomorrow can better live today, that those who expect joy to come out of sadness can discover the beginnings of a new life in the center of the old, that those who look forward to the returning Lord can discover him already in their midst.

~Henri Nouwen

Put Your Wardrobe To Work

With most of us trying to trim the fat from our weekly budgets, it’s tempting to make work clothes one of the first casualties.

But it could be a false economy considering we spend 40 hours a week wearing them in front of the people who pay our wage.

So regardless of whether you have a little or a lot to spend, there’s no reason not to look the part in the office.

No matter how little we have it is still possible to look amazing. The trick here is how smart we are at shopping!

So here I was, just grabbed 2 blazers, a top and some cosmetics at smashing prices today! It’s a steal! Also, enjoyed some awesome discount and had a fantabulous meal! Gosh! Today is one such joyous day All geared for the big day tomorrow. Cheers to that!

Every Cloud Has A Silver Lining

It was sooner than expected. Just after my previous post, I went for an interview and on last Friday, I had a call to inform me that I got the job!

PRAISE GOD!!!

I found no other logical explanation than His undeserved and unmerited favour! If I hafta tell you how exuberant I am, I think this will not end!

On another note, after getting holed up in the beauty industry all these while, it’s time to breathe some fresh air from the outside world. Here I am, going into something which I have absolutely zero experience (but then again, what experience is a fresh grad talking about??), yet at the same time excites me so much! Sounds like it’s gonna be a whooping good time exploring a brand new arena!

It’s a new day dawning. Let’s just hope this leads to somewhere which God wants me to be. May there be much peace and joy. Cheers to all!

En colère

The problem with people these days is that when you treat them like decent human beings and laced them with kindness, they take your kindness for granted and step all over you like a door mat.

For this bunch of ungrateful brats, it just ain’t worth my effort. Time to move on- off to my greener pastures and free from your evil schemes.

I didn’t know what true liberation feels like till I escaped from my “evil stepmother’s” clutches. The thought of not being manipulated and cornered at every side brings true joy to my heart-something that has lost its existence in the past fews weeks. Even though my first job was a horror, it has taught me a lot. Wise up, young lady. Put an end to your wishful thinking that all mankind has a good nature, perhaps sometimes it’s just undiscovered.

That’s so true! So here I am, on the road to seeking life’s destiny. This is just the beginning of an exciting time!

A Recollection

I have been making baby-steps attempt to try to update this space.. Since then, I only made it maximum 3 lines at most with each try. Nonetheless, after ceaseless trying, herein, your long awaited post.

3 weeks ago…

* The Girl Who Lost Her Smile*

How true!

Since I can’t change how things started, at least I can make a change to where this thing is gonna lead to. How strange that I’m at the crossroad once again, making a decision that seems so overdue. Perhaps at that decision making juncture, I haven’t really put in much thought.

***

Lately, life has been so hectic. It was a constant struggle to stay afloat. The need to consciously choose what is of more eternal importance gets watered down by the pressing agendas that have to be accomplished. Capturing whatever little time I have on my way to work to read a good christian book, became one of the slipshod method to survive in the corporate jungle. All of a sudden, my world turns cold and people seems to treat me no more than just a revenue generator. It sets me thinking, “Is there really nothing more important in life than money?”

I thank God that in my early formative years, I was taught money is really not everything. Things like kinship, friendship and memories, no matter how much you are willing to offer or beg to offer, it still can’t replace or purchase. Yet, people around me don’t think so. They seem to be worshipping the golden calf. Going against the current might honour God in some sense but to others it is mere stupidity.

***

*A Tearful Season*

Today is one particular day which I should probably pray that I will never recall. Troubles of yesterday brewed into a whirlwind and swept across today. Ceaseless hiccups one after another in the midst of planning for a big project almost drove me nuts. I would be thankful for the least bit of help, but all I received was grilling and stabbing. To some point I kept asking myself why am I doing all these?

***

I cried myself silly while on an assignment today. Doesn’t help when it started to drizzle when I was still on the road. It simply makes me look all the more pitiful with this huge AO poster I was juggling with one hand while trying to shield myself from rain that seemed to get heavier with the other. By the time I reached my venue, I was sadly soaked-in both rain and tears. I wished someone was there to offer me a reassuring hug or just a word of comfort. But I found none. Just chilling wind from the air-con, drying up my hair…

***

It upsets me tremendously when relationships start to sour due to the repercussions of work. Why did God created work? Wasn’t it supposed to be for our good? Then why are some people so obsess with it? To the extent that they live and breathe on it, making it the centrepiece of their lives. Worst still, trying to make the rest of us match up to their immeasursable standards. My CG member had the best description  for this. He calls it, “Soul crushing.” To which I can’t agree more. Good on you, mate!

***

1 week ago…

Things move at an exploing speed at my booming company. I don’t even know if people realises that I am a FRESH grad. If I may just translate that for you, “I don’t care how long I have known you for, as long as this job is concerned, I’m a newbie. So start trying me like one and don’t expect me to know how to fix every darned thing!”

No doubt, it smells like a bout of angst. Let’s just fast forward a little. After going through so much agony of trying to survive this political corporate jungle, I had finally thrown in the towel. Unfortunately, I’ll add on to the numbers of unemployment. Meanwhile, it’s time to spend some quality time with God to seek His direction and purpose. Wish me luck.

*Making this my mission daily*

Whirlwind just swept across. Honestly, on normal days, it’s much neater than this

Just bought a new CD. Can I please share this with everyone? It’s such happy music that lifts up my mood so spontaneously!

Merci pour le doux souvenir ♥

Taken in front of the so-called aquarium where Christina (in the background) is hard at work.

Crazy & funky peeps brought so much joy to my working life!

My most beloved in the company.

Till then, navigating my way through the shrubs…

♥ Live  ♥ Laugh ♥ Love ♥

All Roll Into One

It has taken a toll on my peanut memory trying to recall what happened over the past months that are worth recording. Thank God for photos! It aids greatly in the regurgitation process

Perth- June

Isn’t it amazing? Total distance driven: 1272km!!!

Such an awesome trip with the 2 boys, till now, I still reminisce the cool weather, awesome adventure and sights.

Shaw Tower-June

This is one kinda must-try ice cream when you are in Bugis area. It has lotsa funny flavours. I really mean outta the world flavours like black sesame, apple pie, sarsi, grapefruit and granny’s favourite which  I have no clue what kinda flavour that is!!! Anyhow, it’s cheap and yummy so a definite must-try when you’re at Shaw Tower!

Have you seen a more expensive box of grapes than these? A whooping $128 for a box of Japanese grapes. I recalled someone telling me something like it’s super sweet and the core has a tinge of red wine. Don’t know how true is that till I try..

The most special homecooked seafood dinner I have ever tasted. It came as a more-than-pleasant surprise after my Perth trip. *beams* √ one more point to the score board

Purple sweet potato

Oops taken only when the flower is about to wither. √ one point for surprising me with the flowers. √ another one  for making sure that your presence is felt while you are away for your business trip.

Raffles Place during lunch

Body Shop launched their new product, Deep Sleep Dreamy Pillow & Body Mist at Chervon House. The highlight of this launch is the POWER NAP CONTEST! Check out that uncle sleeping like a dead log on the elevated bed. I swear this is not an act. I am dead certain he has been sleeping for quite a while before I came. Too bad I wasn’t daring enough to give it a shot. But this is extremely amusing for me!

Yummilicious lunch along Circular Rd. Subsequent lunches were yummy as well but too hungry and tired to snap anymore pictures. LOL

Saddle Club- August

Hidden in the lush greenery with fabulous ambience and real horses in sight, it’s sure a delight for two.

√ one more point for bringing me here.

Bakerzin August Promo!

Panna cotta with strawberries!

Tutti fruitti

All these goodness are going for half price! Oops, it’s only in the month of August. Hope you had your fills already!

Last but not least,

eCR Status: The eCR SYSTEM is not accessible to you because you have graduated. CONGRATULATIONS! (GRD)

YAYNESS!!!!

I am finally a graduate! After so long, all the pains of going for lectures, feeling guilty when I miss class or tests and even prelims, the months of mugging like a nerdy slug and panic during and after exam, IT IS FINALLY OVERRRRRRR!!!

To add on to my exuberance, this year’s results is the BEST of my 3 yrs in SIM! Though prior to this, each time I walked out of the exam hall, I had the feeling I was gonna flunk it, the results say otherwise! Thank God for pulling me through those shady mugging period. When all joy is gone, His omnipresence is one good reason to stay afloat. Praise God! For
I alone could not have achieve all these. Surely, unmistakably, it must be His goodness and doings.

Thank God oh-so-much!!! With that, I shall empty my cupboard of any remnant-notes! Yayness~

3 cheers to weekends! I never knew how to appreciate it till workload always threaten to crush me during weekdays. Alright, it’s sleeping time. I will force myself to sleep till noon. Wooohooooooo!

Wind Over Grass

I can’t believe how long this has dragged-it was supposed to be updated mid of last week. As work sometimes shroud my focus on what’s important, things worth recording are left trailing behind. Now I almost forgot why I named it Wind over Grass.

Last week has been a trying week-a real test of patience and grace. Like wind over grass, so are my feathers. They have been ruffled. Too many a times, people and circumstances make me wanna snap. Some attitude and tone simply get on my nerves and dare I say I wish for the originator to vanish into the thin air at that very instance. For some queer reasons, that originator just don’t seem to get it that she is a pain in everyone’s ***. (Note to self: Live with it young lady.)

As I was grinding thru work today, I found that the initial joy in labouring was all gone. Though no one has intended for work to be fun, I used to enjoy it so much. Yeah, though it used to be pretty mundane as compared to now, I really had so much more fun back then. Perhaps with a worthless title, people use it as a legitimate reason to throw ridiculous responsibilities at me and demand crazy time line to work with. Maybe a better reason for them to use me as their scapegoat. Splendid.

One thing for sure, Bethia is not easily defeated. You gimme shit, I’ll make you eat it. Ooops too coarse for my industry huh. Whatever the case, life goes on. Having visualized how work will be like tomorrow, I feel like popping extra sleeping pills. Please make sure I don’t wake up tomorrow.

Life has reached a standstill and I’m panting for an oasis…

Don’t Work Too Hard

I long to accomplish a great and noble tasks, but it is my chief duty to accomplish humble tasks as though they were great and noble. The world is moved along, not only by the mighty shoves of its heroes, but also by the aggregate of the tiny pushes of each honest worker.  -Helen  Keller

My first reaction was, “Are you kidding?!! No one noticed?!!” Then, the reality sets in slowly. Yeah, so moral of the story,

DON’T WORK TOO HARD, NOBODY NOTICE ANYWAY.

Since we are on the topic of work, might as well rant a bit about it. On my way home today, it dawned upon me that the very nature of my job ain’t that stressful. Nonetheless, my hair has been dropping, half the time I’m binging, the other half of the time I am trying to recover from my sleep debt. So here is my conclusion: it is that anal someone who has been stressing me beyond the point of human tolerance that causes all these. Like today, I was made to rush home all the way after a meeting just to check my email or rather wait for a mail that wasn’t even posted out. Bummer. You wonder who is the insane one here. The sender, the receiver or the commander? One thing for sure, you push me some more, I’m gonna tick in your face.

Oh man, I miss schooling life! Where is my 3 hours lunch? I wanna shop in the mid day! Wanna sit by the cafe with a cuppa cappuccino and a good book! Wanna sun tan @ Sentosa in my bikini under the blazing sun! I wanna sleep in! I wanna skip lecture without MC!

I WANNA…

Right back down to earth, reporting to work tomorrow at 9am SHARP. *Beep*